[personal profile] kiriel123
Tonight, I am thinking about Mo Xuanyu and how we will never know who he really was. I've read a lot of modern AUs where he appears, sometimes as a goth boy, sometimes he is BFFs with Wei Wuxian, other times he admires Wei Wuxian and wishes to have him as a mentor. Sometimes he doesn't exist at all, he's merely an alternate persona for Wei Wuxian while he's on the run or under witness protection. A fake name Wei Wuxian adopts to hide himself. And in canon there is no real indication of what his personality is.

We know he hated his family enough to sacrifice his soul in order to make sure they died. We know at one point he was in the Jin Sect until he became persona non grata with them. We know he painted his face, but not why he painted his face - whether he couldn't stand to look at himself, whether he used it as a mask to hide bruises or emotions.

We don't even know if he really knew Nie Huaisang - just that they met at least once and Nie Huaisang set things in motion. But did Nie Huaisang build up their relationship over time - was he the only one to treat Mo Xuanyu kindly, and cultivate Mo Xuanyu's gratitude over a long period of time? Or did Nie Huaisang just come in and put an outlet for Mo Xuanyu to get his vengeance into Mo Xuanyu's head. Was he at one point in Jin Guangyao's demonic cultivation clique, killing people alongside Xue Yang?

How did Mo Xuanyu feel when he died? Did he know he was being manipulated and not care because he was getting revenge? Or did he not care because he was grateful to Nie Huaisang for whatever crumbs of kindness had been dropped? Or did he not know at all and think that everything was his own idea? Did he regret it, as he bled out over the array, the way you hear some suicide jumpers who survive their attempt say they regretted it in the middle of falling? Or was he satisfied when he breathed his last breath with the thought of the death of his family?

Everything we know about Mo Xuanyu is just rumors and heresay. This is a running theme, what with the story being told through Wei Wuxian's very unreliable narrator perspective, and the the way events differ pre/post resurrection and by retelling. No one's perception is fully accurate.

I like to think that Nie Huaisang mourns Mo Xuanyu a little bit, as the only person who remembers him from actual interaction still alive at the end of the story. He certainly doesn't regret it, because he got what he wanted with the downfall of Jin Guangyao and the truth about what happened to his brother out in the open. But there was a badly mistreated boy once who died, and honestly with Wei Wuxian inhabiting his body, it's probable that people won't even remember his name.

Part of me wishes we could have another book written during the time skip before Wei Wuxian comes back that is from Mo Xuanyu's perspective, so we could hear what happened and who he was in his own words. But we won't and that's probably the whole point at the end of the day isn't it? That Mo Xuanyu, lowborn bastard son, never gets to  speak, he only gets to be a vehicle for someone else. It's his body, the plot hinges on his sacrifice, but it was never his story.
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kiriel123

April 2023

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