Grumpy complaints
Apr. 3rd, 2021 11:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kiriel123I'm going to be bitchy for a second but I'm allowed because this is my journal and no one reads this but me anyway.
So I read a lot of fic on AO3 and I try to leave a comment on almost everything I read because writing is hard, and putting your writing out there is hard! And as much as people say, write for yourself and screw the world, getting feedback and encouragement on stuff means a lot!
But over the years leaving a comment has sometimes become a very stressful experience because it has to be a GOOD comment now. I can't just say "Great fic enjoyed it" anymore. The comment has to include analysis/understanding of the fic, specific lines or scenes that I enjoyed, my reaction to reading stuff, etc. And in general I enjoy doing this, although sometimes if I'm not in the right headspace my comments do degenerate back to "really liked reading this!"
So earlier I read a fic that I enjoyed and left a comment that was two (short) paragraphs long with one line at the end kind of future speculative based on a popular fanon headcanon that I share (or at least, popular in the fanon circles I follow).
And the author responded to the comment basically saying actually character x would do y and your statement is completely wrong and against characterization, god I hate your comment (I'm taking some creative liberty with this summary and exaggerating, as I tend to blow things up in my head).
Then of course I became obsessive and started reading other replies the author had given to comments.
And ok, a lot of people left extremely mean-spirited and terrible comments on the fic, so clearly this author was already on the verge (literally don't leave mean comments on fic, if something doesn't jive with you or you disagree with a characterization just CLICK THE BACK BUTTON). And like I said, the statement is, in my experience, a fairly popular fanon headcanon, which the author clearly disagrees with and probably gets super annoyed with seeing everywhere.
But I really wish the author had not responded to my comment at all. It was two paragraphs of things I enjoyed and one speculative line and just like I don't think people should comment to complain you should not RESPOND to complain (if the comment is written in good faith not if someone is being a total bitch on the fic).
I did respond and comment to the thread saying, 'yeah of course I can see character x doing exactly what you said' because I also can't stand when people are mad at me, and wanted to end on a positive note.
But I deleted the response comment from my AO3 inbox because I actually read through comment responses in my AO3 inbox weekly. It gives me serotonin to see fic love I put out there being returned! And this response took away serotonin.
I'm probably going to delete this later because seeing this post will just remind me of the response (which really wasn't mean and the fic author did not say they hated my comment actually that was just my interpretation, but it was pretty passive aggressive, and I can tell because when I'm annoyed I get SUPER passive aggressive, like I was really tempted to go to this author's other fics and leave comments of "Great" and "Liked it!" and would internally consider that a snub as it is the default head empty comment but obviously won't do that because if I read something and enjoy it I want to enunciate that enjoyment, and also I have 100+ fics bookmarked for later that I actually want to read and not enough hours in the day).
I guess my point is, if someone comments in good faith on a fic and you disagree with one line, either please just don't respond, or if you respond acknowledge the commenter's enjoyment as well as the headcanon you disagree with. Because commenting is a different form of writing, and is ALSO difficult sometimes. So just like you don't want mean comments on fic, don't leave mean replies on fic.
So I read a lot of fic on AO3 and I try to leave a comment on almost everything I read because writing is hard, and putting your writing out there is hard! And as much as people say, write for yourself and screw the world, getting feedback and encouragement on stuff means a lot!
But over the years leaving a comment has sometimes become a very stressful experience because it has to be a GOOD comment now. I can't just say "Great fic enjoyed it" anymore. The comment has to include analysis/understanding of the fic, specific lines or scenes that I enjoyed, my reaction to reading stuff, etc. And in general I enjoy doing this, although sometimes if I'm not in the right headspace my comments do degenerate back to "really liked reading this!"
So earlier I read a fic that I enjoyed and left a comment that was two (short) paragraphs long with one line at the end kind of future speculative based on a popular fanon headcanon that I share (or at least, popular in the fanon circles I follow).
And the author responded to the comment basically saying actually character x would do y and your statement is completely wrong and against characterization, god I hate your comment (I'm taking some creative liberty with this summary and exaggerating, as I tend to blow things up in my head).
Then of course I became obsessive and started reading other replies the author had given to comments.
And ok, a lot of people left extremely mean-spirited and terrible comments on the fic, so clearly this author was already on the verge (literally don't leave mean comments on fic, if something doesn't jive with you or you disagree with a characterization just CLICK THE BACK BUTTON). And like I said, the statement is, in my experience, a fairly popular fanon headcanon, which the author clearly disagrees with and probably gets super annoyed with seeing everywhere.
But I really wish the author had not responded to my comment at all. It was two paragraphs of things I enjoyed and one speculative line and just like I don't think people should comment to complain you should not RESPOND to complain (if the comment is written in good faith not if someone is being a total bitch on the fic).
I did respond and comment to the thread saying, 'yeah of course I can see character x doing exactly what you said' because I also can't stand when people are mad at me, and wanted to end on a positive note.
But I deleted the response comment from my AO3 inbox because I actually read through comment responses in my AO3 inbox weekly. It gives me serotonin to see fic love I put out there being returned! And this response took away serotonin.
I'm probably going to delete this later because seeing this post will just remind me of the response (which really wasn't mean and the fic author did not say they hated my comment actually that was just my interpretation, but it was pretty passive aggressive, and I can tell because when I'm annoyed I get SUPER passive aggressive, like I was really tempted to go to this author's other fics and leave comments of "Great" and "Liked it!" and would internally consider that a snub as it is the default head empty comment but obviously won't do that because if I read something and enjoy it I want to enunciate that enjoyment, and also I have 100+ fics bookmarked for later that I actually want to read and not enough hours in the day).
I guess my point is, if someone comments in good faith on a fic and you disagree with one line, either please just don't respond, or if you respond acknowledge the commenter's enjoyment as well as the headcanon you disagree with. Because commenting is a different form of writing, and is ALSO difficult sometimes. So just like you don't want mean comments on fic, don't leave mean replies on fic.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 06:15 pm (UTC)Also, I ADORE your Magical Marriage Ribbons series it's so creative and so fun! You've done such an amazing job of building out this alternate canon that contains so many fantastical things but is also super believable. Every time I kind of think I know what's going to happen you enter in another twist that just blows my mind!
Plus you update EVERY DAY, it's amazing. In the mornings I read your updates and get a shot of happiness before I have to go to work.
Edited to add: Also really like how you build out the family relationships, and how much love there is, even when things are hard or people did bad things in the past
no subject
Date: 2021-04-07 12:59 am (UTC)I just feel like this is so important: it's so easy to hurt each other's feelings by accident, it seems like we could all make a little more effort not to do it on purpose?
Or I guess, mostly I'm just really sensitive about commenting and comment replies, and I feel like that must be pretty common, so it made me feel better to read what you wrote and think, "Yeah, exactly that, okay, so I'm not alone!" <3
Also, YAY! I'm so glad you like Magical Marriage Ribbons! ♥ It's been, um, all the things for me I think: fun and wild and boring and painful, but it's also been such a good lesson for me in how a story can grow just, one day at a time. (With no plan whatsoever, ha ha.) It actually makes me feel better about my life: if the story can come out of nowhere, one day at a time, I guess my life can too! :D
Thank you SO MUCH for all your kind words; I really appreciate it! And those are my favorite things: love even when it's hard, people going on even after bad choices, having to deal realistically with unrealistic things! ♥♥♥